It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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