We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
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he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
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Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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