seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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