Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
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I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
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She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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