it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
