you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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