I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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