i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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