Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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