ugly people sure do ruin things
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
