I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So squirting runs in the family.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
