he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
