This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
