Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
