I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
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I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
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Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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