how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
