Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
