Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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