Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
