Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
