i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
