It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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