What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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