Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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