of course. lets lasso hookers.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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