Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
