My friends, they love my intelligence
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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