There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
