i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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