you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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