the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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