did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
