i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
