Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
