I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize