was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
