i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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