I CAN MOONWALK!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
