Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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