I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
