Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
