i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
