Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
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I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
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Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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