Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
