i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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