i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Couch. On fire.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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