I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
be right there i have to get my cape
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
