Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
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