ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
