You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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