i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
