Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
