I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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