last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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