I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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