if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Welp...herpes.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
