isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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