So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
