my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
