he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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