Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The best revenge is premature balding
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
